Mentalist Episode Tag, 5x17: Red, White, and Blue
by Donnamour1969
Summary: CHAPTER 2 IS UP! AU sequel to my 5x15 tag, subtitled, "Step Five." Spoilers for 5x15, 5x16, 5x17. Romance, humor, Jisbon. Rated T for sexual content.
1. Step Five

This is more of a sequel to my 5x15 tag than an actual tag to 5x17, although it does have some spoilers from that episode, as well as from 5x16. Confused? You might want to go back and read my tag for 5x15 before embarking on this story, so you'll get the full idea. If not, all you really need to know before reading this is that Lisbon and Jane shared a kiss in my version of what happened after 5x15. Some readers requested a sequel, so here it is. Enjoy!

**5x17 Episode Tag: Step Five**

He'd tricked Lisbon into singing. Of course he'd known the song, "Kansas City." It was amazing how little prodding it had taken to get her to forget her self-consciousness and belt out a few bars. Sure, he'd heard her sing along to the radio in the car, and that time she sang "Amazing Grace" with the team after Sam Bosco died. This was the way it was supposed to be between them. Light. Comfortable. Fun.

She must have gotten over the pain of his confession about Lorelei, must have accepted that he'd really just been using the girl to get to Red John. They had settled back into their usual habits, working together seamlessly to solve a crime. This particular resolution was especially uplifting, and Jane had actually gotten a good feeling from helping young Pete with his memory problems. How often did that happen? Usually he hid when the grateful came calling. There was a change in the air in the old CBI bullpen, that's for sure, and for that he felt extremely relieved.

To top that off, Lisbon had also stopped avoiding him. Since their kiss in the attic a couple of weeks ago, then the debacle leading up to Lorelei's death, she'd been staying out of his way. He didn't blame her-their kiss had been such a shock to both of them. Then he'd so obviously hurt her with his…_omissions _in his pursuit of Lorelei's information, that he wondered if they'd ever get back to kissing in the attic. Something must have caused her to turn a corner, and he was suddenly anxious to know if she'd really forgiven him.

He lounged on the couch that Pete had recently vacated, looking up at the ceiling and remembering how good it had felt to smile with her again, to bask in the sunshine of her good humor.

"Jane," said his little ray of sunshine, partly obstructed now by dark, angry clouds, if her tone was any indication. When he didn't respond right away, she kicked the couch (which she knew irritated him).

"All right, all right! I'm awake. Sheesh. Would you calm down, Mr. Miyagi?" He sat up and planted his brown shoes on the floor.

She frowned at him.

"You need to get up and get moving. We've got that thing tonight."

"What thing?"  
She lowered her voice and looked around. Rigsby and Cho had already left. Likely to get ready for whatever this _thing _was tonight.

"Little Benjamin's first birthday party, remember? We agreed two weeks ago to drive there together after work. You forgot, didn't you?"

Of course he had, and he certainly hadn't expected Lisbon to want to go anywhere with him as of a week ago, so he'd totally vacated it from his mental to-do list.

"Now how could I forget that?" Then the thought occurred to him that a baby's birthday party would be an excellent opportunity to do some fishing for Lisbon's true state of mind.

"So, what did you get him, then?" she asked, hands skeptically on hips.

"The toy store is holding it for me. I thought we'd drop by on the way to the party to pick it up."

She rolled her eyes. "Sure you did. Well if we need to make a stop, we'd better leave now; I hate to be late. You, uh, still want to go with me, right?"

He grinned at her hesitation. She'd keenly felt their mutual tension as well.

"Of course I want to go with you, Lisbon. That was the plan, right?"

She shook her head at his attempted con job. "Right. Well, let's go then."

He took his time rising and stretching—just to annoy her. With a sigh of frustration, she headed for the elevator without him. Jane grinned and quickly caught up.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You know," said Jane as he pushed the shopping cart aimlessly around the toy store. "You would have a better idea than I of what little boys like."

She'd grown up with younger brothers, after all.

She looked in annoyance at the time on her cell phone.

"Trucks. My brothers always loved trucks. Just get something, will ya?"

Jane slowed the cart by an age-appropriate plastic dump truck and looked at it critically.

"This doesn't seem very sturdy."

"Get the metal one, then."

"Won't he get hurt if he falls on it?"

"He's a boy, Jane. If there's a way to get hurt from that plastic one, he'll find it."

"Hmm. When I was a boy, I wasn't very into toys, not when I was literally surrounded by a carnival twenty-four-seven. Toy elephants are no match for the real thing."

He moved on from the trucks until he found the most elaborate ride-on miniature truck either of them had ever seen.

"Now _this_ is a truck," he said gleefully.

"He's not old enough for that," cautioned Lisbon.

"He will be soon enough."

She knew there would be no stopping him, and besides, if they shopped much longer they'd definitely be late.

"Fine," she sighed in defeat. "But Rigsby's gonna kill you when he sees what he has to put together."

Jane waved to a sales associate for assistance, and, $500 later, they were driving toward Rigsby's apartment, the large box taking up most of the space in the backseat of her Mustang.

"That really was too much, Jane. You tend to go over-the-top with your gift-giving."

He shrugged. "What price can you put on the smile of a child, Lisbon?"

She reached over to the passenger's seat and touched his arm.

"You can be really nice when you want to be."

"So you're taking back all the mean things you've thought of me this past week?" To her surprise, he caught her hand and held it warmly in his.

"No," she said, but her lips quirked a little. "But I'm a Christian, Jane. I'm trying to forgive."

_Eureka!_

He brought her hand to his lips. "Well, I suppose that's one good thing that came out of organized religion."

He felt her pulse jump beneath his hand at the touch of his mouth on her skin.

"Jane—"

"You looked up step five, didn't you?" he asked suddenly.

"What?" Her eyes remained steadfast on the road ahead. He took a quick breath and recited it from memory:

"'_Tell her you love her every day-not just with words, but in the way you look at her, touch her, do things for her, protect her, laugh with her, buy her gifts- even in the way you argue__…__'"_

_She swallowed. "You're bringing this up in the car? While I'm driving?"_

_"You haven't been able to get our kiss out of your mind, have you? And since that step drove you wild, you were inordinately curious about the next one."_

_"Jane, please—"_

_"You've been angry with me. Doubting that the kiss really meant anything to me in light of what happened with Lorelei. So you went to your priest for advice. He said to forgive me. And because you're in love with me, you did. And then you looked up step five and realized the truth about me."_

_Lisbon suddenly jerked her hand from his and turned into the parking lot of a grocery store. She put the car into park and turned off the engine._

_"Where the hell is this coming from all of a sudden? And why the hell are you declaring yourself in my car, at rush hour?"_

_"Well, the last time I said it, I was about to shoot you, so I'd say this is a step up."_

_"Jesus, Jane." She closed her eyes and dropped her forehead to the steering wheel._

_His words came out in a rush of long-withheld feelings._

_"Look, I hated hurting you again; it about killed me thinking we couldn't get back to where we were before. But I had to know for sure that you'd forgiven me, Teresa. When this Army case came up, and I could tell that you had, it was such a relief—you don't even know. And I've found suddenly that I didn't want to ever hurt you like that again. I want you to have no doubts about how I feel about you every day, so that the next time I do something stupid, you'll be able to forgive me much faster."_

_She lifted her head to stare at him, completely flabbergasted._

_"I don't believe you."_

_"I'm not lying about this, Lisbon."_

_"No, I believe you're telling me the truth, but only you would—" She paused, her hands going to her face. "For a mentalist, you really know nothing about women, do you?"_

_"Oh, I know a few things," he said suggestively._

_"Our first kiss was in a dusty old attic, Jane. No romance, no ambiance…"_

_"I for one thought it was pretty damn romantic. And like you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I still remember how your mouth trembled beneath mine, how it really felt like I was tasting a summer peach. The thought of losing you made me realize that I'm totally ready for step five. Hell, if you read it, you already know we've been living it for nigh on a decade."_

_She gave him a little smile, her face rosy now from his passionate words. "I read it all right—I found the article on the internet the very night you kissed me."_

_His eyes grew warm with sudden desire. "So, does that mean you've been suitably driven wild by now?"_

_Her own gaze grew smoky, and Jane felt a tightening in his groin._

_"I don't know," she replied. "We should probably repeat step four to be sure."_

_She leaned closer to him over the armrest, and he reached up to touch her cheek._

_"But Lisbon, we're in a __car__," he said in mock horror._

_"Kiss me, you idiot, before I change my mind."_

_She felt his smile against her lips before he immediately slipped his tongue inside her hot mouth, and soon their heavy breathing and excited moans filled the Mustang. Seatbelts came unbuckled as if by magic. But it was difficult to properly kiss in the front bucket seats of a Mustang, and the gear shift was definitely an impediment. The backseat, however, was currently occupied by a toddler's birthday present. Not that they would have actually made out back there in a public parking lot. __No, not them._

_"Jane," she said, as he began softly nibbling at her neck._

_"Hmm?" He kissed her beneath her chin and she shivered._

_"We're going to be late for the party."_

_He didn't stop his sensual exploration, and his hands had pulled her blouse out of her jeans, making dizzying caresses on her bare stomach. He couldn't wait to find out if step three was true, about finding Lisbon's erogenous zones._

_"The kid won't miss us, Lisbon. He's __one__, for crying out loud."_

_"But we promised Rigsby and Sarah—"She gasped as his hands rose higher to rest tantalizingly beneath her breasts._

_"But Lisbon, don't you want to know about step six?" He breathed the words into her ear and she fairly melted._

_"There-there was no step…__six__."_

_"Only the most ardently in love men have full access to step six." _

_His lips returned to her ear, and he whispered something so hot and exciting that she actually felt a little faint._

_Jane suddenly found himself thrown unceremoniously back against his seat, the Mustang's engine roaring to life as Lisbon re-buckled her seatbelt and pulled back into traffic—in the opposite direction of Rigsby's place._

_"But what about the party, Lisbon?" he said with a laugh, his heart accelerating even more in sharp anticipation._

_"The kid's only one, for God's sake. He'll understand when he's older."_

_He grinned. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"_

_She spared a glance from the road and gave him a look so full of her own emotions that Jane caught his breath._

_"No," she replied, "but I'm definitely holding you to step five, buster."_

_"Wow," he said,"those steps really work. You've become wilder than I could have possibly imagined."_

_"If what you say about step six is true, you ain't seen nothing yet."_

_END_

_A/N: Okay, so this was fluffy and silly and definitely AU, but I had fun. I hope you did too. And, I know technically Rigsby's baby turns one in April, but I hope you'll forgive me for fudging it by a couple of weeks._

_P.S.: For a wonderful, more traditional tag for 5x17, check out starry19's "Pasts and Palaces." It's amazing!_


	2. Step Six

A/N: Due to all the flattering popular demand for a "Step Six," here is a second chapter of this tag. Thanks so much for your interest and encouragement. And I'll get to your reviews very soon.

**Chapter 2: Step Six**

The two lovers lay on the softly carpeted floor of the living room, their heavy breathing and the ticking of the wall clock the only sounds disturbing the silence. They hadn't made it to the bedroom.

Jane was on his back, his pants and boxers bunched uncomfortably about his knees, staring blindly into the sparkling popcorn ceiling of Lisbon's rented apartment. For the first time in years, his mind was completely blank; the aftermath of pure pleasure overwhelmed all other sensory perceptions.

Beside him, Lisbon lay where she'd fallen, her blouse and bra open to reveal her heaving breasts. She had no idea where her slacks were-not that she cared at the moment-and the slip of lace that had once been her panties were torn beyond repair, lying in tatters on the carpet. Ironically, she still wore her boots.

Her state of dishabille had been the result of Jane's relentless pursuit of what he had termed, _step six_. A residual shiver radiated from her core just thinking about the skills the man had with his tongue and dexterous fingers. He was relentless in making sure that he fulfilled every promise he'd whispered in her ear—the words that landed them here in the first place. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised he should be any less dogged when it came to sex; he was like that in everything else he set his mind to.

When Lisbon's body began to cool and her pulse slowed to just above normal, she turned her head to look at Jane. Had it not been for his steady breathing, she would have sworn he was like the innumerable corpses she had seen in her career—eyes wide open and fully dilated, face contorted into a frozen mask. In retrospect, however, she hadn't known many victims to have died with a smile on their face.

"Hey," she said, her throat hoarse from her earlier cries, "you alive?"

His smile spread wider across his face, but he still lacked the energy to move.

"Barely," he replied.

"For future reference, my bed is actually quite comfortable."

"Sorry, my love, but I was quite overwhelmed by your…charms. I'll keep that in mind for six point two."

Lisbon raised an eyebrow—about all she could raise at the moment.

"There's more?"

"I've had nearly ten years to imagine the things I'd like to do with you, Lisbon. Believe me, this was just an appetizer."

She was shocked anew at this admission.

"If that's true, why didn't you ever approach me before? Think of all the time we've been wasting."

Jane somehow summoned the energy to roll to his side and prop his head on his hand to look down at her. His eyes swept with pleasure from her delicately flushed face to the passion-wrecked state of her clothes and body. An unkempt Lisbon was something to savor.

_I did that_, he thought smugly.

"We haven't wasted time, Teresa. We've been gradually building up to this, like those volcanoes waiting to erupt after hundreds of years of pent-up pressure. All is well for years, then one day—boom!"

She rolled her eyes. "Your metaphors are so romantic, not to mention clichéd."

He grinned and leaned down to press his lips softly to hers. Her hand came up to touch the faint stubble of his cheek.

"I admit, however," he said after a few moments, when coming up for air, "that this first time lacked a bit of finesse. I promise I'll make it up to you."

"I wasn't complaining," she said, smiling softly up at him.

He chuckled. "No? You just dropped a pointed hint about the comfort of your bed."

"When the rug burn on my ass heals, I'm sure I'll be able to look back on this very fondly."

His forehead wrinkled in concern. "Here, let me see."

She laughed and swatted his seeking hands away. "No."

Jane was feeling quite reinvigorated all of a sudden, likely due to the proximity of Teresa Lisbon's mostly naked body, and the fact that she was wriggling to keep him from getting a glimpse of her glorious derriere, which, he realized, he'd only felt with his hands.

His hands slid up to cup her breasts possessively, and he leaned in to nuzzle the scented softness at her nape. Her back arched and she sighed into his touch, her pulse racing once more.

From a distance came the ping of a text message alert. Lisbon, good cop that she was, always had her ears attuned to her phone should a case rear its murderous head.

"Jane," she said, after a moment, when the sound penetrated her passion-fogged brain. "I'd better check that."

"Hmm?"

"My phone. There's a message."

He sighed, rolled off her and onto his back again, while she got up and went in search of her discarded pants, the pocket of which contained her cell phone. He grinned as he watched her flitting to the foyer in her top, boots, and nothing else.

"It's not so bad," he commented, when she bent to retrieve her clothes.

She looked over her should at him. "What?"

"The rug burn. Let me rub it with some arnica—it'll heal up in no time."

"Stop ogling my ass, you—Jane! What the hell is this?"

She forgot what she was saying upon reading her text message. She handed the phone down to him. It was from Rigsby.

_Have you seen Jane? I can't get hold of him. He was supposed to do a magic act for the party. The kids are getting restless and Sarah's about to kill me._

Jane looked sheepishly up at his old friend and new lover.

"Oops. I left my phone in your car. It's in my suit jacket."

"I can't believe you forgot something this important to Rigsby." She narrowed her eyes in that suspicious Lisbon way she had. "Was it on purpose? You blew off a kid's party so you could get in my pants?"

"Now, Lisbon, I honestly forgot. He asked me like a month ago. Besides, Benjamin's only one, as we've established, and you weren't so conscience-ridden a half-hour ago, when my mouth was on your-"

Her face flamed with a mixture of anger and embarrassment—a feeling with which she was not unfamiliar when it came to Patrick Jane.

"For God's sake, Jane. Sarah's older nieces and nephews are there. They're expecting a magician. Now pull up your pants and let's go. I can't believe you forgot," she repeated. "Someone seriously needs to clean the cobwebs out their memory palace."

She pressed a button and put the phone to her ear.

Jane sat up reluctantly, then awkwardly pulled up his boxers. His movements caught her eye and her gaze alighted on his arousal. She looked shyly away and he grinned impishly.

"Hey, Rigsby. Sorry we're late. Jane and I were just coming—I mean, we are on our way."

A bark of laughter escaped Jane at her Freudian slip. Lisbon shot him a dirty look while covering the mouth mic, as Rigsby gave an agitated reply. Even from his place on the floor, he could hear the sounds of screaming children in the background.

"No, we got held up at the toy store," Lisbon was saying. "We'll be there as soon as we can. Please apologize to Sarah for us. Okay. Okay. Bye."

By this time, Jane was standing and fastening his trousers, then his belt. He walked over to her as she set down her phone and picked up her mutilated panties, balling them up in her hand to toss in a nearby waste basket.

"Hey, don't get your panties in a twist," he quipped in amusement. "I'm sorry I've disappointed the kids, but I'll give them a great show, I promise. All I need is a handkerchief and a few coins, and I can entertain them for hours."

His hands dropped to her waist, and when she looked up into his handsome face, her ire slipped away, as usual. She hated him for that sometimes. She could never stay mad at the bastard long enough to suit her. He caught her lips in a swift kiss of apology.

She looked at him in consternation. "You're lucky that I love you so much, Jane-you really are an ass sometimes."

Jane's face softened immediately, and his eyes grew serious. That was the first time she'd actually said she loved him.

"Yes," he said. "I'm extremely lucky." His hands came up to frame her face, as dear to him as Angela's and Charlotte's ever were. Seeing his intense expression, Lisbon found herself in his arms once more, forgetting for a few minutes longer children's parties and magic tricks—at least the kind done with coins and hankies.

"Stop," she said after awhile, as Jane began moving her toward the bedroom this time. "Later, okay? People are counting on you."

He took a deep, shuddering breath and raised his head. "All right. Have it your way."

"Good. I'll uh, just go put on a new pair of unmentionables, and we can go."

His hands dropped to her bare behind. "You could go commando. All the grittiest cops do."

"Ha. I doubt that. Now quit distracting me."

"As long as you promise the moment we leave the party, we head back here to continue what we've begun."

"That's an easy promise to keep. I'll try not to let it slip my mind…" she said with a hint of sass. He resisted slapping her ass, knowing that she'd have him pinned on the floor in a wink, and not in a good way. So he let her pull reluctantly away and move toward the hall.

"You owe me a pair of panties, by the way," she called from her bedroom.

He laughed. "A small price to pay, my dear Lisbon."

Jane thought about the hours it would be before they would be back here again, and it took all his self-control not to waylay her in the bedroom this minute. But the sweet anticipation, the build-up once more of the volcano within them would make the eruption much headier later. Bad cliché or not, it was true. A grin split his face at the very thought of it.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The next day, a box arrived on Lisbon's desk. She unwrapped the expensive pink paper, her eyes shooting to Jane in the bullpen, asleep on his couch. She didn't really blame him—after last night, he deserved his rest.

Inside the box were several pairs of boutique panties, every color of the rainbow. She picked up the white note with the familiar handwriting of her consultant.

_Here's a replacement, plus some to spare…in case I get any luckier._

_~Jane_

She laughed and blushed and quickly closed the box, stuffing it under her desk out of sight.

Loving Patrick Jane would never be short of embarrassing surprises.

**THE END**

(Seriously.)

A/N: Thanks for reading this silly fluff. It was fun, and I'm preparing for another multi-chapter very soon, and perhaps even a tag or two.


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